Comparison is the thief of joy
“Comparison is the thief of joy -”
I began running at 30 years old; I’d always wanted to be able to run but didn’t know where to start, there were no C25k apps or beginner’s running courses, in fact I was clueless, but I would watch other runners enviously, and think to myself “I want to do that”.
To start off with I ran with a friend, we joined a local running club, Fareham Leisure Centre running club as it was known and then Stubbington Green Runners. It was great fun, there was no pressure, just lots of team events, relays, even marathons; no smart watches, or smart cameras or running apps. I ran for the sheer joy of it.
But as my running improved, and with the dawn of social media and advances in running gadgets and technology breaking over the horizon, Garmin 2003 and Strava 2009, a completely new world opened up to me, a world of stats, kudos and comparisons.
And along with this shiny new numerical data I started to experience some mental barriers that at times made my running journey quite challenging; this hadn’t happened before, and this differential data was sucking the joy out of running.
Mental Skills
And sport psychology was still in its infancy; there wasn’t a great deal of info available on how to manage all this mental stuff that now appeared to go hand in hand with running.
I could go from feeling immensely proud of my morning run to feeling inadequate in a nano second just by uploading my stats and comparing myself to someone else.
Competition
This advancing technological feature added a new dimension to my running. I was able to constantly compare myself to other runners, other runners compared themselves to me but not only that, I was comparing myself to myself and previous race times and performances.
Credible information on factors like stress, age, diet, sleep, heat, and how this impacted performance was sparse, and I was miserable as I judged my own race/training run/session with other people. The competitiveness of a running club culture came home with me, and the process of constantly evaluating my run, my pace, my mileage, my heart rate, my body shape, my thighs, my strength…….to other runners, I now realise, was a damaging internal narrative to have.
Who are you?
I created a pseudonym parkrun profile, I can still remember the freedom and the joy of just running on feel, and I believe that mentally knowing that no-one would see or look up my stats was clear with this parkrun pb.
Double edged sword
But I also understand that some people thrive in this watchful environment, gaining comfort in knowing that they are being tracked in a race. This sense of support and encouragement can add to the community and camaraderie of the sport.
When running Liverpool marathon in 2021 I ripped my chip timing off my race bib at mile 20, I happily discarded this tiny device and the mental pressure is signified, into a bin on the side of the road; those final 6 miles felt amazing.
Shut out the noise
Remember it is impossible to compare yourself to another person; you are not comparing like for like, take a breath, and know that whoever you are comparing yourself to is in a different place and on a different path.
Recognise when you are most susceptible to comparison - comparison is most distressing when it closely reflects something that you value or something that you think others value.
Practice self-compassion - accept that comparison is a way that our brain likes to work out how we’re doing. It is not always the truth and not always useful.
Running Apps/Social Media
Take yourself off the running apps, we know that numbers cannot show the true picture of who you are, you cannot separate your life from running because it’s too complex, development age, past training history, co-ordination, lifestyle, immune function, muscle fibre type composition, are just a few of the many interlinking factors than underpin how you perform on any one run.
Consider other perspectives
We only see one perspective when we look at others’ lives, we never really know the whole picture. People’s lives are just as complicated as yours, don’t oversimplify theirs because you can only see one perspective on it. Think of it like the camera on a laptop for a virtual meeting, it only shows the background you choose it to show, you don’t point the camera at the messy desk or messy floor, you don’t show people the dirty sink, pyjamas on your bottom half or the mismatched socks.
Don’t let fear paralyse you - really living your life in the direction that you want to, will make comparison less relevant. You will realise that comparison doesn’t help you achieve your goals so focus on you and your goals.